How To Get Your Child To Eat

kindergarten class picture
(Kindergarten Cheltz)

Just before I started Kindergarten, I decided to suck on my food instead of chew and swallow it. I still remember how soothing and relaxing it felt.

It was driving Mom and Dad nuts.

Possibly because I was eating hardly anything, and possibly because it was just annoying (maybe I was loud?). I remember them trying all sorts of ploys to get me to chew my food, but none of them could touch me. Finally Dad came up with the million dollar idea. "Chelsey, if you don't start chewing your food, I'm going to call Mrs. Hardy (my kindergarten teacher) and tell her you can't start Kindergarten next week." That threat gave me some pause, but I continued sucking, "You don't know her phone number." Dad picked up the phone... dialed... "Mrs. Hardy,..."

I immediately started chewing, and have continued chewing ever since.

I think I was in high school when I figured out that Dad did not, in fact, know her phone number.